recipe for a beautiful life part 2, or, be obtuse
In my journalistic thoroughness I was doing some investigative research on some people online. Tryna dig up the goods, ya know what I mean? See if the stories they tell match up with who they are. Who they’ve been. In my inspection I came across a video from this PYT who shall remain nameless for the moment—we protect the lives of the innocent around here—where they said something that has stuck with me every waking moment since. It has truly irritated my spirit. Not in an annoyed way, but like the recognition that what they were saying was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And it reminded me of this podcast clip I had seen a while ago from my OG muse, Nip Hussle tha Great, before his passing, where he pretty much said the exact same thing: It’s not about what they expect from you. It’s about reaching your potential. Now, this was a several years old video from PYT and idk if they are/were a fan of Nipsey’s work, but the resonance was clear and my soul has been trigggggerred.
Who’s bad?
Dear My Gorgeous Pretties,
If anyone can get me out of a funk, it’s definitely MJ. Last night I finally watched Michael, and it was a beautiful reminder that true artists are and always will be the revolutionaries of the world. There will never be another like Mike. Truly heaven sent. And his gift and his light illuminated the world. That is what happens when you shine the way that only you can. And it was a reminder of the interconnectedness of us all. Music and dance is a universal language that everyone, even if you can’t understand, can feel it.
Recipe for a beautiful life
Bear necessities
Dear My Gorgeous Pretties,
Another week, another adventure. I didn’t wanna leave Pismo Beach. I legitimately fell in love. It had just the perfect balance of small town coastal living without it feeling like it was doing the most or the least. Everything seemed to have an effortless touch of class while still being very much down to earth and relatable. Kinda like me. Should I move there? I missed it as soon as I drove off and continued my trek up north to Canada. Pismo Beach, will you have me?????
Life after death, it’s a beach!
Dear My Gorgeous Pretties,
Well, here we are. A new season of life yet again. I’ve crossed over the valley of the shadow of death and immediately landed in the ocean. Oooohh, how I missed the waves crashing against the shore, the sand under my toes, the sun on my face, the smell of salt water up my nostrils. So necessary after 9 months in the desert. I had plans to be there longer, but as we know, we plan and God plans and God is the Best of Planners, and when He says, “Go!” Well, you better git to gittin! So I had to get gone and quench my thirst in the ocean. A mermaid gone from her home for far too long.
the (milky) way of the dragon
Last night I went on a rage walk. That’s when you’re furious as fuque and you walk off really fast into the darkness until you aren’t angry anymore. In a moment of crying out to the High Heavens, I raised my head to the sky, and just as I screamed, “ALLAH!” my voice caught in my throat as the Milky Way stared back down at me in all its wonder and glory. My mouth agape, I stood there, truly in awe, mind empty, momentarily forgetting the anger that drove me out there in the first place. I was surrounded by the deep expanse of the sky, and the stars twinkled back down at me (a phenomenon known as scintillation for my astro nerds out there 🤓) singing, “Hush now, my baby. Be still, love, don’t cry.” I touched my face. The tears had already stopped. I just stood there in wonder at this magnificence I had heard of my whole life, and, up until that moment, had never realized I hadn’t witnessed with my own two eyes. And then it made me think that there are still so many firsts I have yet to experience with people I have yet to meet and love, who will, in turn, love me & adore me, and that’s something to look forward to.
go the distance
Dear My Gorgeous Pretties,
How was your week, my loves? All’s one over in my part of the world. I do apologize for getting to you so much later than anticipated, but I was stuck on my yacht. The captain thought it would be fun to take me on a little rendezvous off course, and honestly, it was! You know I’m always up for an adventure. Eoowww!
The return
Hello, (Dear friend) Kent
fee fie foe fum
I’ve come to the conclusion—having been in the desert wild for the last 6 months now—that everyone here is running from something. And by “running” I don’t necessarily mean in the literal sense, like “running from the law,” although, and you didn’t hear this from me, but I did happen to hear that apparently there was a love triangle between the present controller of a nearby property, the former controller, and the executive administrative assistant that allegedly resulted in the former controller being found dead by the pool. “Heart attack,” is what the official record says, but I heard—and of course I wasn’t here so I can’t be sure but—rumor has it, the admin assassin, I mean assistant, has a background in plant molecular biology so my mind immediately goes to poison, and that’s what the 411 is saying. AND apparently her 2nd cousin is the coroner. Word around town is she offed the one to be with the other, but the coroner found “no evidence of foul play.” How convenient. Now I ain’t one to gossip. I just mind my own never mind, so you ain’t hear nothing from me but that sound suspicious as all Tom Fuq & Foolery!
As for everyone else round these here parts, well, they’re all running from something. That’s for certain. Or looking for a whole lotta nothin. Me included. Not in a bad way though. But you come to the desert to get away or to run away. For me, maybe it’s a bit of both. I needed a fresh start, a clean slate, a refuge from the people and places that—well, you already know. But here in the desert, everyBuddy’s got a past…
fight for your right
Have you ever experience deja vu? A moment where you are absolutely certain you’ve experienced this moment before? Your future and present (or past) self are converging on the same timeline and for a moment you can’t quite pinpoint which one you’re in. Am I me? Was I me? Am I going to be me? No? Only me? Ok.
I’ve also had other moments of absolute, full body, resounding clarity. Pieces of a puzzle that I didn’t even know were puzzling all of a sudden click together and make perfect sense. And then life actually confirms it. But before that, an inner lightbulb goes off and I’m like, “Ooooooh.”
second star to the right
Some of my Pretties out there might be a bit younger than me, some a little older. No matter what stage you are in life though, have you ever caught yourself longing for your younger years? Not in a, I wish I could go back there and do it all over again kind of way—at least not for me—but more in a, Aw man, these kids don’t even know how good they have it! kinda way. The joi de vie of youth is unmatched! There was a younger couple sitting across from us at the restaurant and I was reminded of young love, of innocence, of that feeling of being totally and completely enamored with someone at that age and it’s like, ugh. That feeling of unmitigated ignorance! Bwahahahaha!
and a little bit of fairy dust
The wind is howling again. Different kinda weather out here. It’s pretty cool. I mean, it’s not cool having dust and sand blow in your face at high speed, but when you’re inside, listening to the whistle of the winds, it’s something to marvel at. Truly.
I have been wanting to get out and explore more. There’s so much to still see and the way the light reflects the different terrains depending on the time of day and you get to see all the striations of color…ugh. It’s literally jaw dropping! And then you get your phone out to snap a pic and it so doesn’t do it any justice. Heck, even if you have a professional camera, it’s not even close to the real deal. You have to be here. You have to see it for yourself.
dime por que
Some days are better than others. Then, literally, out of nowhere, here comes my dear old friend, Grief, knocking at my door again. And it’s usually when things are going good—nay, GREAT!—then all of a sudden, here She go…
the bug & the windshield
A while back, when I was going through a rough patch—before I knew…everything—I was talking to my Dad & lamenting about what was going on, and he goes, “Ya know, it’s like I always say. You’re driving down the highway. You’re going along your merry way and then boom, a bug smacks itself against your windshield. You didn’t purposely hit the bug, and the bug didn’t purposely fly into your path. It was going along its way too. But in life, sometimes you’re the bug. Sometimes you’re the windshield.”
the scenic route
When I was in undergrad, after one particular class, a mate would always walk me back to my dorm or the food court, or the bookshop, wherever I was off to that particular day. Pitt was an urban campus, but our little nook of it was so cute & quaint. That’s what I love about college towns; the quaintness of it all. The cozy feeling of being insulated from the chaos at large. Anywho, whenever we had extra time to spare, I would make him walk me the scenic route. Ok, who am I kidding? Even when we didn't have time to spare I would insist we take the scenic route. One day we’ll be glad we stopped to smell the roses.
breathe here now
I’m not leaving this Ramadan the same person that entered. There’s been a lot of changes; personally, professionally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, metaphysically, intergalactically… Of course I’ve changed. Do you think I went through all that just to stay the same? Now I’m not perfect. Obviously. I still have much work to do. I’m sure you do too, don’t judge! But I own it. I own who I am. I own what I am. And I own WHOSE I am. How could I possibly deny that? God never left my side. He’s the BESTEST friend a gal could ever ask for. So I give thanks for my portion and all the GREAT things still left in store.
blooming in death (valley)
The super bloom is here! For the first time in a decade, Death Valley is bursting with bright yellows, and purples, and pinks, and white. It’s truly a magical place all year round, but this right now is outta sight!
I was reminded today when I flipped open my book, 99 Reasons to Love You, of the wonder I bore witness to when I first moved to California on that fateful day in December 2020. Partaking in my standard morning stroll, I caught a glimpse of all the fruit trees that were sprouting to life in my then neighborhood and came to the conclusion that everything has its time. Everything in nature abides by the same rules, the same circle of death & life. Everything blooms because it must. Everything blooms in its own time.
Fisher of Men
