The super bloom is here! For the first time in a decade, Death Valley is bursting with bright yellows, and purples, and pinks, and white. It’s truly a magical place all year round, but this right now is outta sight!

I was reminded today when I flipped open my book, 99 Reasons to Love You, of the wonder I bore witness to when I first moved to California on that fateful day in December 2020. Partaking in my standard morning stroll, I caught a glimpse of all the fruit trees that were sprouting to life in my then neighborhood and came to the conclusion that everything has its time. Everything in nature abides by the same rules, the same circle of death & life. Everything blooms because it must. Everything blooms in its own time.

*Solo Desert Five Spot amongst desert gold*

I have been in deep contemplation this Ramadan. As I mentioned in one of my videos, Ramadan is 30 days long, divided into 3 parts. The first 10 days focus on mercy, the mercy of our Lord, the mercy we show to ourselves & others. The 2nd third is on forgiveness, and these last 10 focus on freedom from the hellfire. Now believe what you want to about this life and the next. I’m not here to persuade or dissuade anyBuddy about anything. I’m just here speaking my truth, delivering this good word as it was presented to me to deliver. But Jesus (peace & blessings upon him) said that heaven & hell are right here depending on how you live your life, depending on how you think. And I’ll follow that up with what Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings upon him as well!) said regarding negative thinking and how we shouldn’t say, “If only I had done such and such…for the word ‘if’ leads to satanic thoughts,” essentially meaning that our thoughts create our reality. If you tend to spiral, guess what? Life is going to present you with more things to spiral over. But if we keep our thoughts on that which is good and plenty, life gives you more of that also. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking that makes it so.” My boy Willy Shakes. Did you hear that it was a black woman who was actually the one behind his writings??? It’s all starting to make sense, innit?

But in these Ramadan reflections I have found myself time and time again, not lamenting on the past or wishing I had done things differently, but honestly just wondering wtf is wrong with some people. Like, what would truly possess you to do some of the sh*t that you done did, or maybe that’s it—you were possessed! Because I can’t for the life of me wrap my brain around any other rhyme or reason. And for this reason, I have drawn the conclusion that there is just some sh*t I’m not going to get over. And no that doesn’t mean that I haven’t moved on, or that I’m sitting here dwelling on it everyday “overthinking,” riddled with anxiety. It’s none of the above. It’s simply that some things are truly too treacherous to even try to make sense of and the only reality is that there are no take backs. Death ends everything. And given the circumstances leading up to, surrounding, and after my mother’s death, it’s a big fat NO for me. For my peace. For my sanity. For my good fortune. No. And I shall not be extrapolating further.

Because of the super bloom we’ve had this great migration of caterpillars. I think I wrote about seeing one in my last post. Yea, well, that day I saw one, and the very next day I saw one hundred thousand! No lie. They were all over the roads, the highways, the walkways, the buildings! I litrully shudder at the thought. There’s bug juice splattered all over the roads. There was no way you could avoid them. They were everywhere.

And then just as quickly as they appeared, they left just as swiftly. I would say there’s no trace of them, but there’s literally remnants of them engraved in the pavement at this point. And then they have this green slime that’s just. Ew. This whole scenario has given me the heebie jeebies. And I’m trying to be cool about it given my newness to this desert terrain, but like this is the type of stuff that makes me itch, ick, cringe, gag, glitch. All the things. Like one was cool, but A HUNDRED THOUSAND OF THEM APPEARING OVERNIGHT?! Bloody fuq’in madness.

And because it’s me I’m always looking for the lesson. What was the purpose of that? What was the purpose of a lot of things honestly? but I digress… I know the scientific reason a caterpillar goes into a cocoon and then emerges a butterfly after a certain level of metamorphosis. In this case these are sphinx moth caterpillars. The sphinx moth is also referred to as hummingbird moths for their uncanny resemblance, nevertheless, why were there so many of them? Where were they migrating to? And how did they all know to go in the same direction??? That is the power of an Intelligence far greater than our own understanding.

But still, what is the lesson from it, Lord? Sometimes you're not a butterfly. You’re a garden variety moth. 😂

*Sphinx, aka hummingbird, moth.*
You is pretty, doe.

Caterpillar cluster. 🤢

Or maybe it's a metaphor about our nervous system and how when we’re dysregulated (weak- caterpillar stage) we are liable to get run over, and in order to handle the journey of flight, we need to foster a healthy, regulated, nervous system (butterfly stage). I dunno that came to me while I was sleeping so I’m gonna take it seriously. Yes I fell asleep writing this…whatevs.

And so how do we continue to go forth and prosper after life as we formerly knew it is now over? The caterpillar version of us is dead and we don’t know ourselves as the butterfly version (or moth in your case 🤭) just yet. And yet, we must still sally forth and fly on, unsure of who we are in this present form, but in order to ensure our safe flight we have to trust that this form is enough to carry us through. I suppose it wouldn’t have been formed otherwise… So we flit our wings, slowly at first, unsteady, unsure, and then more rapidly, more confidently, until finally, take off. New sights. New sounds. New perspective. And nothing was the same…

One thing this Ramadan has taught me is that I’m not a young whipper snapper anymore who can just pop up at the crack of before dawn after operating on 3 hours of sleep. The first week was like butter—easy, breezy. The 2nd week was shark week so no fasting was observed. But this 3rd week is like…sheesh. My alarms are not alarming! I have to find a new way to trick myself with T minus one week to go. Maybe I’ll start putting my phone on the complete opposite side of the room so when the alarm goes off I have to actually physically get up to turn it off instead of just rolling over. Honestly, idk. I’m open to suggestions! I’m not craving coffee but I could really go for a pick me up right about now! Triple grande vanilla latte with oat milk perhaps? Or, oooo, better yet, a matcha mocha latte. Mmmmm. Ok, now I’m just being greedy.

Anyway, everything’s different now. It’s a constant adjustment. And that’s growth, right? That’s change. Sometimes painful, sometimes uncomfortable, but always necessary for evolution. So this is just life right now: growing, evolving, abiding by the intrinsic flow of nature and blooming regardless, even in death (valley), and enjoying the wonder of the way with unshakeable faith in my destination. (3 Magic Words) I’ll keep you abreast of the situation. Now tell me, what about you? How are you, despite the odds, still finding ways to bloom?

Well My Pretties, that’s all it is for me this week. As ever & as always you could be anywhere in the world, but here you are with me. And I love you for that. And I love that for you! And for me. Have a delightful rest of your week. Stay blessed everyBuddy, and of course, God speed.

Love always (& besitos!)

blooming in death (valley)

Fisher of Men