garden variety love, or, it is what you make it
I think I’ve officially reached the level of adulthood where “crashing out” is literally crashing into bed and going to sleep. No matter who you are, or where you are, inevitably, you will face challenges in life whether they be personal or professional. Of course we want things to go as we have planned them, but one thing my Rich Dad taught me that I have been leaning into ever since is: Control the controllable. If it’s out of your hands, it should be out of your head too. But we must continue to do what’s right & never lose sight of our vision, or the lessons we learn along the way in bringing it to fruition. I didn’t mean for that to rhyme, but, hey, it’s me. It’s kinda natural at this point.
My healing journey actually began back in grad school. Anyone who’s gone through rigorous training in any field can attest to the fact that it transforms you mentally, physically, and in many cases, spiritually. Because acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances, the observation and understanding of human behavior is crucial in stepping into characters that you may or may not have anything in common with. For 10+ hours a day we were diving head first into various acting pedagogies, voice & breath work, dancing, movement, and a lot of other esoteric sh*t, some of which didn’t really make any sense until after graduating from the program. There’s some stuff that you learn that can only be applied in practice in the real world. It was grueling, and exactly the kind of training that I was looking for when I decided to pursue that passion. But actors are quite the characters themselves, which is why I will never be romantically involved with one ever again lol. In fact, I have decided to become the Muslim mystical equivalent of a nun and spend the rest of my days frolicking in the forest with the flowers and the fairies. A story for another day.
But it is hard to heal when you’re intimately involved with a person or surrounded by people who lack the desire or capacity to look within. And when you’re entangled enough emotionally, it makes it that much harder to continue to do the work you set out to, and instead, you get caught in the same karmic loops that you are trying to break free from. You only recognize it for what it is after some time of separation and the spell has been broken to the point that you can see yourself clearly once again and all the ways you unconsciously helped perpetuate the dysfunction by staying attached to these energies. When I recommitted to myself, I read a lot of books, took a lot of courses, engaged in many supportive communities that were similarly fostering the growth and self-expansion, and I gained a lot of tools and techniques to help me on my path when it was time to go it alone.
As many of you already know, music holds a special place in my heart and can be used as a great source of motivation, relaxation, and relief. But the right sounds can completely alter your frequency. I started listening to the Solfeggio Frequencies during my return back Self. The frequencies are part of the olden six-tone scale believed to have incorporated sacred music, inclusive of the famous and beautiful Gregorian Chants. The unique tones and chants are found to impart spiritual blessings when they are played harmoniously. Every solfeggio tone comprises frequencies necessary for balancing energy, keeping the spirit, mind, and body in a perfect form of harmony. (Nature Healing Society)
The 6 main frequencies are:
396 Hz — liberating one from fear and guilt
The 417 Hz — facilitating change and undoing situations
The 528 Hz — creating miracles and repairing broken DNA
The 639 Hz — solving relationships and reconnecting
The 741 Hz solfeggio —expression & communication
The 852 Hz — awakening intuition & returning to spiritual order
And there’s a 7th listed that I haven’t heard but I will add to my collection
The 963 HZ — creating room for oneness and unity
I’ve used the Solfeggio app for the last several years & it has guided sleep meditations to these frequencies which really do wonders for work in the subconscious mind, but I do like the pure sound by itself. Whichever you prefer, these frequencies are a great resource for recentering and recalibrating your energy. Though I don’t use them on a daily basis anymore, I always return back to them when life throws me for a curve, or I’m feeling anxious about a situation. First cause is always mental (3 Magic Words). We can’t control every situation around us, but we can always control our thoughts and our actions. Do any of you listen to these frequencies? Is it something you’ll add to your toolkit? Let me know if you do. Peace & happy healing to each and every one of you!
sleep dealing
As part of their Cyberpunk exhibition, the Academy Museum had a showing of Sleep Dealer, futuristic sci-fi film by Alex Rivera & winner of the Sundance Film Festival Alfred P. Sloan Award. Released in 2008, Sleep Dealer depicts a dystopian future where technology both connects & oppresses us. In this case, migrant workers connect their bodies to “the network” via nodes implanted into their skin to engage in everything from virtual labor, to virtual pleasure, selling memories, or piloting drones.
The film tells the story of Memo, a farm owner’s son & hacker with a passion for technology and hacking (obviously) who unwittingly taps into a network used by drone specialists. When they catch someone monitoring the frequency, he disconnects just before his location can be traced. Unfortunately, they track the location days later as Memo and his brother are away at a family function. As the ensuing attack airs on popular (albeit disturbing) TV show watched by Memo’s brother, they quickly realize the location is their home. As they race to return, their father, the only one home back at the ranch, is the casualty from the attack the drone pilot launches on the infiltrating entity. Memo and his brother arrive just in time to witness the horror in person, unable to save him.
Feeling the guilt and the blame for what’s happened, and in an effort to help support his family, Memo boards a bus to Tijuana, leaving his hometown in Oaxaca behind in order to make money by offering up his body in a factory like setting, known as the “sleep dealer” where he engages in virtual labor. In his travel to the city, he meets Luz, a writer, who sits next to to him on the journey, and after inquiring about her nodes, she tells him where he can get connected for cheap. Luz’ work to free herself from student loan debt is selling her memories on a platform called TruNode, where people can purchase them. Unbeknownst to Memo, Luz is selling her memories of him, and, after she seeks to engage with him further, eventually romantically, her content is finally gaining some traction. Unbeknownst to her, the person buying her memories is the Mexican-American pilot who launched the attack on Memo’s father. Dun dun dun.
I’m not going to tell you what happens next. You’ll have to watch the movie for yourself which I highly recommend. The actor portrayals were particularly beautiful, bold, yet subtle. Luis Fernando Peña (Memo) delivered his role with such curiosity, simplicity, specificity & clarity that it was hard not to be rooting for him from beginning to end. Leonor Varela (Luz) reminded me of a Latina Natalie Portman, powerful in her gentleness & sincerity, and Jacob Vargas (Rudy Ramirez - drone pilot)—who has been seen in so many features over the years from Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion to the Selena biopic (I thought he looked familiar!) to Sons of Anarchy—was perfect as the sensitive & conflicted patriot towing the line between following orders and following what’s morally right.
The director Alex Rivera, was there to introduce the film and I got to chat with him and a group of people in the lobby for a few minutes afterwards, and he talked about how the idea for the film came about from his talks with cousins and family who lived in Mexico and, being that the internet was really gaining momentum and entering it’s new era at the time, what this idea of “being connected” would mean in the future and how it would impact our work and the ways we contribute to the world.
He talked about the sub-genre of cyberpunk itself and how it centers questions of power around technology and how it exacerbates these powers through technological advances, but it does something which is uniquely “cyberpunk” in that it looks at tech through the lens of outsiders, the punks, the rebels, the renegades, who then use that technology to rebel in some way against the system that was intended to bring us together, but ultimately drives us further apart. A film released in 2008 being so apropos for the time we’re in today, imagine that. As always, another delightful day at the Museum. Any day I get to watch movies is aways a good day. Any day I get to meet the creatives behind the movies? Even better.
Sleep Dealer director, Alex Rivera, in front of the Cyberpunk Exhibition at the Academy Museum
Catch Sleep Dealer on whichever platforms you rent your movies, and be sure to check out the Cyberpunk Exhibit: Envisioning Possible Futures Through Cinema now through April 2026! Tell them you know who, sent ya! Hehehehehe
dancing with the divine
So if you’re following me on social you all know I’m currently obsessed with this Blue Shirt Guy dance trend of the samba whisk and I REFUSE to stop until I get it! Ok, actually I probably won’t stop even after I get it because it is too fun. Dance with me Sweet HaHt!!
garden variety love
I went to the Natural History Museum & toured their Global Garden of edible flowers, plants, and vegetation, some we use every once in a while, some on a daily basis. I got to see a cactus flower up close & personal for the first time. And as many of you know, I do love me some nopales! No, I didn’t pick off any to take home, although I was very tempted.
Edible flowers perfect as a garnish for your favorite summer cocktails!
Indian Fig Cactus with cactus flower
Prickly Pear Cactus
Orange Thyme (obvi)
Paprika Yarrow
Dorsett Golden Apples
Sunflowers
And then I took a dive down under into the prehistoric Los Angeles waters and all the wild life that swam in and around their waves.
To be fair, I forgot to take pics of all the fossils & skeletons in the exhibit. I was kind of nerding out with all the cool artifacts, not gonna lie. There was a giant sea scallop shell bigger than my frickin head! A seal skeleton with a jaw the size of my torso, and whale head that took up almost half the size of the room. And of course the dinosaurs in the next room. But seeing all these massive & tiny creatures that once roamed the land and sea around us makes me remember just how small and insignificant we all are, and how ultimately we all will one day become extinct. But being the superior species (although, in these times that’s honestly up for debate) it’s up to us to take action and decide how long that will be. Always remember, Mother Earth doesn’t need us. We need She.
Also it made me remember that TV show La Brea, that was only on for like a season I think, about the La Brea Tar Pits and a massive earthquake that broke the area in half and anyone who fell into the hole was transported back to prehistoric LA. TV fairies, bring that show back please and thank you! Bippity Boppity Boo!
Woosah wind down
Welp, once again tis all she wrote for now. Y’all gonna hafta bear wit me. I’m a millennial dinosaur and learning new technology once you get accustomed to something else takes me a minute longer. We’ll get there though. She always does. As ever and as always, you could be anywhere in the world, but you’d rather be here with me. And some of you have been extraño Pretty this week. (I know that’s not the right usage. Go with me!) Yes, of course, you know I see. I see EVERYTHING. The real and the fakin’, but whichever you are, life is always what you make it. And you know I got nothin but love for the ones who have shown me true love. May God reward you for it. And to everyone else. Well. You’ll get your just desserts too. Bippity Boppity Boo! Hehehehehe boop boop bee doo! Anyways, I’m off to see the wizard. I’ll be sure to say a little prayer for you. Have a great rest of your week and a racy weekend! Ciao bellos! Thank you for being a friend.
Love Always (& Besitos!)
Your Dancing Queen & Sweet Heart of The People