cosplaying CONSCIOUSNESS, or, escape from loser-ville
I celebrated 5 years of my meditation journey at the beginning of this month. 5 years since I sat alongside the river with Uell S. Andersen’s Three Magic Words, and recorded the 12 meditations as the water gushed and babbled along, oblivious to my presence or what I was doing. Just following her natural course. Running her marathon. Flowing forth to parts unknown. I had no idea what I was doing either to be perfectly honest. It was just a moment of peace. Of solitude. Of inspiration, really. I went down there to read and was overtaken by the calm and thought, maybe others would be taken by it too. So I opened my phone and pressed record, still unsure of what I was even doing. Spirit knew. And although I didn’t share these recording until several years later, the rest, as they say, is history. I never set out to change the world. I was only trying to change myself, but look what the Lord done did.
I do not confuse what I seem to be with what I really am. I am never what I seem to be and always what I really am: Host to the in-dwelling God. —3 Magic Words
You never know how God is going to use you, your voice, your journey, to do His bidding. You just have to be present in the moment, surrendering to His will to pick up what He’s puttin’ down. And He’s still not going to give you the full scope of what He’s got in store. You just have to be willing to do your part and answer when He calls. And He will call. How are you going to answer?
Many people make the assumption that walking the spiritual path is all sunshine and rainbows and “good vibes only” while you pick the flowers along the trail and make a crown to put in your hair. DEFINITE perks of the job, but what they fail to realize is that the sunshine and rainbows and flowers come after the storm, the dark night of the soul, where you face your shadow head on, duking it out blow after blow, round after round—sometimes for years—until you are both left winded, battered, and bruised, each leaning on the other for support because you understand that in the end, you are all you have. Neither of you are going anywhere but you each had to learn how to check the other without one thinking they’re the main one running the show. This—true spirituality—is a balance, a partnership, an integration of the dark with the light, the light with the dark. True spirituality is inner harmony. The ego has served its purpose, but there is no longer any need for it. There is also no judgement of yourself for once solely operating from that space—or for others who still do—only observation, in which, you will gather the necessary information in order to proceed forward with those people, or leave them exactly where they are so that they may do their work.
You know you can’t do it for them and, regardless of any support groups there may be to help facilitate one’s journey, your work is not a group activity. And even when the worst of it is over, and the dust finally starts to settle, and you can finally catch some rays on the side of the sun, the journey still continues. In fact, there is no final destination. Only constant evolution. Constant adaptation. Constant mastery. But it’s not so heavy anymore. It’s not so gloomy anymore. The load is significantly lighter. But that checked baggage fee? That checked baggage definitely came with a hefty price. Which is why truly evolved beings don’t allow just any and everyone into their private personal party because not everyone has paid the price for entry, no matter how much (or how good) they talk about it. There’s talking and there’s doing. Which one are you-ing?
And you can’t cosplay consciousness, ok? We’re not at ComicCon. People who truly—this being the operative word here—operate from a place of higher consciousness are not all up in everyone’s face declaring that they are “spiritual” and “enlightened,” and you should all go get matcha together and talk about your stories. Although, I will probably take you up on the matcha because, well, matcha. But spirituality, higher consciousness is not a hobby. It’s a lifestyle with which you embody. This shit is real. And it irks my soul when I meet those people who clearly haven’t done the deep inner work but incessantly go on about some variation of it, dancing around the topic, as if they had. Please believe this shit is not for the faint of heart and I promise you, the people who have emerged from the other side of the warfare are absolutely lights to be around, but they will fuqqing burn you if you try it with them. And you will try it with them because you insecurity, your ego, will take their calmness and inner peace as a sign of weakness, and then, then, they will unleash the darkness upon you so that you know exactly the reason why they are so calm. I’m only going to say this once, and no, I will not hold your hand when I say it: If you are not prepared to come correct, then please LEAVE SPIRITUALLY ENLIGHTENED PEOPLE ALONE.
In celebration of my meditation milestone, I took the week off to reflect. No pun intended, but, come on. It’s me 😉
I know. I know. I didn’t give any mention or notice, but sometimes a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do. Nothing personal towards any of you. Highly mystical beings don’t enjoy being on social media anyway. And, as I said, we’re definitely not going around on social media (or in life) proclaiming to the world every 5 seconds that we are highly mystical and divine beings. It’s a very sacred thing we’ve been gifted (or cursed?) with. And it’s also not something to be taken lightly. Which is why I would never open up a palm or aura reading shop, or tell people that, for a fee, I will communicate with their loved ones from the other side. Although I definitely could capitalize off these gifts if I was that kinda person, but that’s a line I don’t play with. You do not want to play when it comes to the spiritual world, OR, with people’s fragile emotional state in trying to connect with people they have lost. We each have the ability to connect on our own. Ask for them to give you a sign and then wait. They are closer than you think.
In fact, truly mystical beings don’t even like to be touched by (random) people. A handshake is about as far as it goes, but even that is *highly* energetic. And please, for the love of God—especially if I don’t know you like that, especially especially if we just met, but especially to the 3rd power if you know I don’t like you and/or the energetic signature is very clearly not being reciprocated—DO NOT try to hug me. Air kisses are fine as long as we keep that distance. And no it’s not because I hate physical touch, or I’m “neurodivergent,” —which, why is everyone claiming to be neurodivergent all of a sudden? I truly think social media has fried everyone’s brains! Put your phones down people! This generation is so cooked— I know exactly what is going on at all times. Sometimes I’m merely just extending a copious amount of grace because I understand that everyone is not evolved and that my purpose—more often than not—is to introduce people to what higher consciousness looks like on the ground level. It’s incredibly irritating, but I’m sure I irritate God sometimes too, so, we’re even. Toughest battles, strongest warriors, amirite? Well, with that same grace, I’m allowing you the room to meet me at my level. But when you don’t, and you think your ego is going to “put me in my place,” yea ok, witch, BYE!
Energy transfer is very real and I don’t want your energetic germs on my ethereal body or in my auric sphere. The last time someone hugged me unsolicited upon meeting, I went home and immediately burned sage and, I kid you not, the entire bundle burned in a form of spontaneous combustion. Pay attention to the omens. Some people’s energy is dirty as L!
All that to say: DID YOU MISS ME?? Hahahahaha hehehehehe! I’ll get you, My Pretties!
escape from loser-ville
It was nice to have the week off. Perks of being your own boss. And F1 was off last week too so it kinda worked out perfectly. Hey, we’re a team, now. Remember? And my favorite pretty little losers got to drive around in their Lego F1 model cars the week before at the Miami Grand Prix. Cue my sheer jealousy. Major geek alert. (🎥 Hunter Woodhall)
Unfortunately, I had to be here tending to other matters, but there are plenty more races this season. Which one do you think I will pop up at? They’re in my home country of Italy this weekend. Idk if I’ll be able to attend, but whichever one I make it to, you can find me bippity boppity bunny hoppin’ from garage to garage to root for all my faves because in this pretty little heart, everyone takes home first place.
God speed, EveryBuddy! 🏁
flower soup
The week was quiet. I spent a lot of time TV off, music off, outside communing with the flowers. I even made flower soup. You know flowers, roses in particular, carry the highest vibrational frequency? Yep. I was high on that flower power baby.
Flower Soup
I explored the great Los Angeles outdoors, stumbled upon some jazz in the park, had the most delicious matcha,
and, BEST OF ALL, finally, FINALLLYYYYY, found some true, authentic, flavorful grape leaves from Brothers Products, whom I came across at a farmer’s market. I have searched LA high & low for the best grape leaves in town that gave me the feeling of the aunties from the motherland back home, and y’all, THEY TOOK THE CAKE LEAF! 10 outta 10 *highest key* recommend. I will be back again and again and again and again. Like. Y’all don’t even know the level of elation. It was everything I needed and everything I’ve missed. Ugh. The ultimate chef’s kiss! Oh, and the green olives. Can’t forget about those. No pics because I was too busy stuffing my face, but check them out at their store, OR, at the West Hollywood Farmer’s Market on Sundays before 2 (I think that’s when it ends. Don’t quote me) And don’t forget to tell ‘em the Wicked Witch of the West sent you! Brothers Products Grape Leaves
toodles to you witches
I am plotting my great expat escapades and need to know the best sunny beach countries I can lounge around and read poetry all day along the shores. All my international travelers tap in! It’s gotta be somewhere that’s not super touristy, OR has a less touristy side, but overall and most importantly, is peaceful and serene. Maybe somewhere that has a rich dancing history and I can samba, hula, or pop lock & drop it on the sand. I’m pretty sure I’ve watched every episode of Caribbean Life so I already have a few ideas, but am also open to exploring other continents as well and seeing what else is out there in this great wide world. LA is currently giving “Get me outta this stinkin’ fresh air!” vibes so it’s time to wander. Ooooo, maybe a backpack across Europe? A summer in Sicily with the Corleones? A hike in the Himalaya—nah. Too cold. Beautiful. But cold. Maybe I’ll just be a little wild and spin the globe and wherever my finger lands is where I’ll traverse. Where’s the most favorite place you’ve been?
And for my American Sweet Hearts, what’s your favorite city/state you’ve lived? I’ve been all over the good & great U.S. of A. and if I had to pick a favorite state, I’d probably say…idk actually I can’t decide. There’s too many to choose from and each one has its own unique offerings and identity, although in Cali you really do run the full spectrum of seasons and climates. You can go hiking, skiing, camping, surfing, escape to the desert like a true alchemist and live in peace with your falcon. There’s something for everyone. Then there’s New York and it’s just. Ugh. New York. What more can I say? There’s no place like it. But, idk, I’m thinking maybe DC is cute. I’ve never lived there but I’ve been several times. Very metropolitan. Very fly, fabulous, and foxy working professionals. Good food. Good energy. Yea. Maybe DC is the ticket! I will meet me stunning and successful husband there and I will live my reality TV star dreams and be a Real Housewife of Potamac. Yesssssss. I’ma be all up on your screens. Lol. Jk. Maybe. Idk. My future self is liable to do anything. She’s a wild card that one. Might pull a rabbit out of a hat. Might pull YOU. You never know what she’s got up her sleeve… Bippity Boppity BOO!
pretty of the week
Both the Kentucky Derby and the Met Gala happened during me & F1’s week off. Lots of looks and hats that deserved applause, and others that gave us full on FAUX PAS 🫣 Like, all y’all gotta do is let a witch know if you need help. I gotchuuuuu. She comes with a price, of course, but I PROMISE, I’ma have you lookin’ RIGHT!
Nevertheless, I shall keep my Pretty selections to myself because some of y’all honestly don’t know how to act when someone shows you simple appreciation. No, I’m not in love with you. No, I’m not trying to get with you. Some of you were showcased solely for your outfits, professional achievement, or because I happened to be in the store taking footage and panned the camera over and, poof! There you were. PURE happenstance. But now I’m a wicked witch for saying that, right? Of course. People hate to hear the truth but love to have their lil ego boost.
Some of you honestly have me worried about this generation. Like, social media has truly fried everyone’s brains. Some of you want to actually be worshiped like God and that ain’t happening ovuh round dese here parts, ok? Social media has conflated egos to be wayyyyyyy bigger than what they actually are IRL and made it so that showing love and admiration for people’s style, and/or dedication to their craft is vilified. And of course it’s not everyone, but hey, one bad apple spoils the bunch. I hearken back to a lesson I learned early on in this healing journey: people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves. Everyone’s lights are not all on which is why they will try to steal or dim yours, especially when you’ve been illumined with the Light of God. But false flames always flicker out. This is a fact of life. Either way, no more pretty little love for any of you. For now anyway. Bee good and perhaps I will change my mind later. We shall see…
woosah wind down
In honor of this 5th meditative year, I decided to change it up and bring the blog black home to the Bismillah & Bonappetit site, where, in truth, it should’ve began in the first place, but I was trying out a new thing and, I like Substack, I can’t even hate. The first 27 blogs shall remain there. This actually would’ve been up last night had I stayed on that platform because it saves changes automatically and OF COURSE as soon as I finished editing and was going to upload pics, an error occurred and when I refreshed the page, none of my changes were saved. So, I did what any mature, sophisticated, 40 year old would do to prevent crashing out: I went to sleep. Lol.
Anyway, what Pac say? “Ya gotta learn to own ya own. They get jealous when they see ya wit ya mobile phone.” Although these days people don’t even get jealous over material things anymore. It’s all about the aura. And the only advice I can give on that is: Get right wit God and then get right wit ya self and you’ll be shinin’ too, twin.
Anyway, as ever and as always, thank you for your patience and for joining us back here where we belong. No matter here or there, you’ve stayed true to being on this healing journey and it just got to show how much you care. You are appreciated and you’ve been riding with us through thick and thin. Have a GREAT rest of the week and a spicy weekend! Thank you from the bottom of my pretty little heart for being a true friend.
Love Always (& Besitos!)
A
(K.A. Your Favorite Sweet HaHt Gringo)