I sat out last night for about an hour under the Strawberry Moon. She was bright, vibrant, golden, and full. It was reminiscent of 3 years ago when I asked Her—up on the roof of my traitor frenemy’s home—to reveal to me all Her secrets. She flickered, as if giving me a little wink, and quietly whispered in the breeze, “You show me yours and I’ll show you Mine.” What a sly little minx She is. The next day I published the ebook version of what is now Godward: 99 Reasons to Love You. That same day, hell quite literally broke lose. Said frenemy changed the locks on the door as I was at work—my first night of my new job as a house manager at a well known comedy club that was celebrating opening night, a RE-opening after being closed for over a year due to the pandemic. My belongings in the trash. This after she suggested I move in with her knowing I was being stalked from my own place (that, YES, I put in so much work to get) suspiciously after I filed a workman’s comp suit against a former employer turned sociopath (or sociopath all along?) who ordered the firing of me immediately after asking to file a workman’s comp claim after I got hit in the face with a door that was taken off its hinges and left me with headaches and bruising. Frenemy “had plenty of room. 3 floors, each with everything you need. We’ll never have to see each other if we don’t want to.” Yea. She made sure we would never be seeing each other ever again in life. But I regret nothing. Because, above all else, Madam Moon showed me the Truth. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

*Image taken from a witch’s account. Hehehehehe*

So I’m down in the great state of Texas and because F1 is back, I guess that means I am too. I thought I had another week off, but ce la vie. We sally forth. It’s nice to be out of LA & in the countryside. I feel like I can actually BREATHE! The cicadas singing engulfing the night air provides a nice sleep soundtrack. Mostly I’ve been frolicking the fields and hugging trees instead of my Beloved Rose Garden. But you know what they say, “She needs wide open spaces, room to make her big mistakes!”

Catching up with fam of course who I haven’t seen in forever. My aunt made eggplant parmigiana and YES! I ate some cheese. My face hates me for it, but again, ce la vie yolo! We had Eid, birthdays—one I missed, one I made it just in time for, and another on the way, but mostly I’m just on chill. Might go on a date with a cute southern gent, but I have nothing to wear! It would be nice though to go shake a tail feather and entertain the company of another, you know, mix & mingle, if nothing else, for s&g’s (that’s slang for shits and giggles).

We watched Tyler Perry’s, Straw, and let me just start by saying, yes it is good, however! Be prepared to have your blood pressure spiked from start to finish from all the emotional turbulence. Taraji is a star and always shines in everything she does. My nervous system afterwards was shot to shit so I can only imagine hers was during production. I hope you was breathin’ girlfriend! But I must say, Sherri Shepherd stole the friggin show fa me! Someone please get this lady her flowers expeditiously! Her compassion, empathy, and groundedness seeped through the screen. Her performance was gentle & subtle, yet commanding. Natural, but very intentional and specific. And endearing. She held space and took up space. She, she did dat! Take bow Ms. Shepherd. You have just rewritten our new alma mater! <Joe Clark voice>

*Sherri Shepherd as Nicole, the bank manager (taken from People.com)*

But it is interesting being back around family after being away so long. I haven’t seen most of them in 4 years since my Gramma’s funeral, and others, more immediate fam, since my bro’s wedding 2 1/2 years ago (Viva la México!) I feel like whole lifetimes have taken place since then. Well, I guess, technically, they have. I have a new niece, a new grand-niece, but metaphorically and spiritually speaking, eons have passed.

How do you explain to people the hell you’ve had to walk through just to even be standing here in their face when the average person has no idea of secrets the Wild West is keeping & even if you try to explain to them the actual truth, you still sound like a paranoid crazy person. And of course we know it’s by no means any fault of theirs. WE know who the real culprits are. WE knew a long time ago. And it’s systematically designed that way; to make you feel isolated, alone, afraid. But I’m never alone, for God is with me. His rod & His staff comfort me. And yea, though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I feared no evil. In fact, I’m pretty sure I brought some of the demons back to the way of Light! For He annointed my head with oil. And surely goodness and mercy shall follow me al the days of my life and I SHALL dwell in the House of the Lord. Forevuuuuhhhh!!

Nevertheless, the dynamics have shifted. They were always meant to. This was written and I have risen to answer the call of my highest timeline. And the reverberations have echoed through the millennia. So of course they would feel it too, even if no one says anything. Eye know they stalk me on social media too like the rest of you losers. And energy never lies. People wanna know how I escaped the snares and booby traps of narcissists and master manipulators? Well, I was raised with them. I saw you fools coming from 10 miles away.

And this is all too evident when you feel people wanting to pull you into their emotional chaos & dysfunction because they’ve never confronted themselves. They’ve never known true peace. It’s a foreign concept to them. This is why nervous system recalibration is so important because we will quite literally sabotage the good (people, places, and things) God sent to help & uplift you. And then people sit there and complain about life and being caught up in loops when they are being entirely complicit in the spiral, hurting their own selves, or “transgressing against their own souls” as it says in the Qur’an. But they like it. Subconsciously. Their energy body craves it. Calm is boring. Peace is too peaceful. They need the drama to feel alive & “thrive” (read: feed) off the misery. But people will only change when they want to. And not everyone does. And I am not in the business of fixing anything I didn’t break or holding together something I didn’t tear apart. Sometimes it’s necessary to go back to where (or who) you came from in order to know who (or where) to never come back to—mentally, physically, emotionally. Sometimes blood is really the only bond you share.

Ok literally as I wrote that a blue jay landed on the branch in front of me squawking away to High Heaven. A sign? Probably. Of course. Another omen of good fortune, guidance/intuition, encouragement, and communicating the truth—clearly.

*Not the blue jay from the forest, but das day cousin!*

I never set out to change the world. Only to change myself. To be better than I was yesterday. To do better than what was done to me. To live a life of unmitigated abundance, vitality, & joy beyond my wildest dreams. But when you break the mold, when you are the one who goes against the grain of family, of a society set in its ways—good bad, or indifferent—, when you demand better for yourself and ask others to do the same you will be scapegoated. You will be cast out. You will be looked at like, “Why do you think you can do that? What makes you so special? Who do you think you are?” They’ll tell you you can’t do that and to go use your degree—yea, as if those things have done me any good—, but my calling, YOUR calling, was not a conference call. This was a clear communication between me & the Divine. It doesn’t have to make sense to the world. Good heavens! It hardly makes sense to me sometimes, but God is the One in control. S(h)e doin dis! And When She tells you what to do, you do it.

And then when it all works out, they’ll cheer along with the rest of the crowd and say, “We knew it all along!” even if they were some of the main ones energetically trying to hold you back. But hey, dems da brakes, baby cakes. It’s the way it goes when you forge new tracks, break new ground, traverse uncharted waters, and create your own way from no way, like the universal magician you are. That I am. God’s plan will always prevail & His decree shall be brought forth. And so it is. I tried doing things my way. He wouldn’t let me. So, we go with God & claim our rightful place over the land He hath promised.

Alright, My Pretties, vacay mode is still activated so that’s all she wrote for tonight. I’ll see you back here, same place next week. As ever and as always, you could be anywhere in the word, but you’d rather be here with me. And I love you for it! And God approves too. Have a gorgeous rest of the week and this weekend, give em the blues! (With a big side of some green) Stay blessed EveryBuddy and God speed!

Oh, I almost forgot. Say hello to my little friend the frog in the tree.

Love Always (& Besitos!)

The One & Only Aalibumaye

Family matters, or, she never shines alone

short & Sweet (Hearted), or, wild american geese